


The Last Sample: A Reylo Costco Love Story

by Semperfidani



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ben In Plaid, F/M, Fighting Over Samples, Finding Love at Costco, Finn Instagrams It, House Plaidam prompt, One Shot, Poe says Y'all for SpaceWaffleHouse, Rey's First Time at Costco, Reylo - Freeform, Reylo Crackfic, Reylo Modern AU, Rose is hungry, Taquito Lightsabers, The Costco Reylo Lovestory you didn't know you wanted but here it is anyways, Who doesn't love Costco samples
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-08-23 19:07:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16624718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Semperfidani/pseuds/Semperfidani
Summary: Rey and Ben fight over samples at Costco. It's a love story, y'all.





	1. A New Nope.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [House Plaidam](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=House+Plaidam).



****

**The Last Sample: A Reylo Costco Lovestory**

_This crack fic one-shot is dedicated to House Plaidam_

 

“Are y’all sure you’re ready for this?” Poe asked, his eyes twinkling with laughter.

“I’ve waited all my life for this moment,” Rey replied, her face alight with anticipation.  
  
“Hold up! Gotta add this to my Instagram story,” Finn leaned into Rey, his iPhone held up above. He tagged the picture with #ReysFirstCostcoTrip and added a shopping cart emoji.  
  
“Now remember,” Rose cautioned, “you don’t have to try _every_ sample Rey. This is your first time, so pace yourself. And for the love of all thing pure and good in this world, stick to the list this time guys! Our budget is limited, and we barely had enough to pay rent after the last Costco trip.”  
  
“Amateurs. It isn't an authentic Costco trip unless y’all left with a belly full of regrets, right Finn?”

“I accidentally ate a laundry pod _one time_ Poe! Like you’ve never mistaken a Tide pod for a gummy treat,” huffed Finn. “Besides, I’m not the one that blew the drinking budget on the Star Wars Lego set.”  
  
“It was the Millennium Falcon and y’all won’t find that cheaper anywhere else. I stand buy that purchase!”  
  
“Guys.The samples aren’t going to eat themselves. Let’s go already, Scooby Gang!” Rey admonished the group. At this rate, they would spend her first time at Costco outside the doors in the lobby.  
  
She had only moved to Alderaan, Virginia from England a month ago, after her student visa was approved. She lucked out in meeting Rose at student orientation, and they hit it off like butter on popcorn. Rose lived with Finn & Poe in a cozy four bedroom colonial style duplex close to campus, and when they all got along like lifelong friends after one meeting, they offered Rey the fourth room. Ben, a childhood friend of Poe’s, owned the duplex unit next door, although Rey had never actually met him.  
  
“Okay Rey. Stick with me kid,” Poe gestured to his side, “they won’t let you in without a membership.”  
  
Poe flashed the card to the greeter, and they were in.

* * *

Rey’s eyes widened at the sight before here. Rows upon rows of plasma televisions, all set to scenes of green vivid forests to display their technicolor prowess. Rey had never seen so much green in her life.

“Out of my way, Finn. You are walking too slow,” Rose grumbled, bashing the cart into his heels. “I haven’t had breakfast yet, and I overheard someone say they were sampling taquitos by the freezer.”  
  
“Patience, grasshopper. This is Rey’s first time. We must ease her into the way of the Costco warrior.”  
  
Rey giggled. “I am rather hungry Finn. And I think I smell hot dogs.”  
  
“Rey honey. That’s for _after-shopping_ eating.” replied Poe with his southern accent. “And at $1.50 for a hot dog and coke, that them there is gourmet eating for us.”  
  
“A feast for kings!” Finn exclaimed.  
  
“The dinner of champions!” Rose added, before her face fell in laughter.  
  
“OK kids. Less talking, more walking,” Rey sped forward.

* * *

Somewhere between the boxes of granola bars and the gummy snacks, Rey lost the Scooby Gang. It was her fault. She had stopped to look at a display of three different types of almonds, and the next thing she knew, they were gone. 

She figured they would somehow catch up with each other. After all, _how big can one store be_?

Making her way slowly, she came across a sample stand of beef jerky. 

“Would you like to try a sample?” a petite elderly lady with big goggle glasses asked. “It’s hormone free from a local distributor.”  
  
Rey reached for the paper container, looking at the name tag discreetly. “Thank you, Maz!”  
  
She had never tried beef jerky before. _There was a lot of things she never had the chance to eat,_ Rey thought to herself, before pushing the memories away. She chewed slowly, her mouth savoring the salty beef flavor.  
  
“You again. Doesn’t your mama feed you?”  
  
Rey looked up, seeing Maz scold a man. _A rather handsome man._ He was tall, with dark hair hanging just to his shoulders, kept underneath a ratty baseball hat. He was significant in size, his broad chest outlined beneath a black tight t-shirt underneath a checkered fleece shirt buttoned half-way up. His biceps bulged from beneath the fleece shirt. He wore dark blue denim. His thigh were massive. _I could probably wrap my legs around his waist and his thighs alone would hold me up._ Her eyes shifted slowly to the center. _Clearly his thighs aren’t the only thing that is massive._

Rey blushed at the thought. Her eyes traveled up to his face, his lips plush, his tanned face sprinkled with a few discreet but beautiful moles.

His eyes were a golden brown -- and staring intently into her own with a satisfied smirk.  
  
_Bollocks!_ Rey quickly looked at the display next to her with fake interest, her face flaming with embarrassment at having been caught staring at him like he was a drink of water on a hot day. Her eyes focussed to what she was looking at, and she groaned internally at the Depends for Women sale display. _Bloody hell!_  
  
She swear she heard him laughing before shuffling off. This Costco trip was going swimmingly.  
  
“I’ve seen that look in many different eyes. The longing you seek is in front of you, not behind you.” Maz spoke softly, jolting Rey out of her thoughts. She looked up to see Maz staring intently at her, like some grandma imparting wisdom.  
  
Rey darted away.

* * *

Her eyes scanning the crowd, Rey still couldn’t find Poe, Finn, or Rose. _Best to stick with the sample areas,_ Rey thought. She walked to the freezer section, betting that Rose would be somewhere near those taquitos. Scanning all four aisles, she came up empty in her search.

Her eyes narrowed as she spotted the taquitos. There would be nothing wrong with having a bite while she waited. She grabbed a taquito and moved to the side before biting into her generous sample, closing her eyes as they rolled to the back of her head as she let out a little moan of pleasure. 

“Taste something you enjoyed?” A deep voice asked.  
  
Her eyes bolted open, landing on the broad chest covered in plaid. She didn’t want to look up, knowing all she was going to see is a handsome smirk. But her traitor of a heart forced her brain to control the eyes upwards -- where she met his handsome smirk.

 _Damnit!_  
  
Rey fled down the aisle, not looking back.

* * *

  
After 5 minutes of hiding in the baking aisle, she peeked around the corner back to the taquito station. No sign of the lumberjack. Still no sign of the sign of the Scooby Gang either.

Rey headed back to the taquito station, for a second sample. She spotted one left on the tray as the server was starting to pack things up.

As she got closer, she saw Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome speeding towards the taquito station.

 _Oh no he doesn’t! It’s MINE!_ Rey sprinted, reaching out for the last sample.  
  
He reached for the sample at the same time as Rey. Their hands touched. What felt like an electrical spark shot through their arms. Rey gasped as he froze, his eyes widening as they stared at one another.  
  
“That’s my taquito!” Her hand wrapped around one side of the taquito, his on the other. They began to pull at it.  
  
“I’ve seen you at this sample station already,” he glowered at Rey. “Don’t be greedy.”  
  
“Oi! Greedy? Like you didn’t go to town at the beef jerky station, Paul Bunyan!” Rey’s voice raised a notch, as she glared at the imposing man.  
  
“It’s Ben. My name is Ben. You need to let go. You’re still holding on! Let go!” He yelled.  
  
The taquito split apart, the inside contents spilling onto the floor.

They stared at each other, before Ben’s mouth quirked up, his eyes crinkling with laughter, before a deep laugh escaped his mouth.  
  
Rey burst into laughter, clutching her sides.

* * *

  
“PEANUT! There you are! Thank God!” Finn, Poe, and Rey rushed up. Their eyes narrowed as they took in the scene, noticing a taquito and all its contents scattered on the floor.  
  
“Ben? Rey? What’s going on?” Poe asked.  
  
“Ben here and I fought over a…” Rey paused. “Ben?”  
  
“Yah,” Poe drawled. “Ben Solo. Our neighbor. The guy we pay our rent to. Surely you’ve met him before?”  
  
Rey blushed, looking up at him.  
  
“I don’t believe I’ve met this pretty lady yet,” Ben drawled. “But I sure would like to get to know her better.”  
  
Rey smiled up at him. “I would like to get to know you too. I’m Rey.”  
  
“Jesus Rey. This wasn’t what we meant by an impulse buy.” Rose gently scolded. Everyone laughed.  
  
“While we don’t we call it a day. I have advanced screening tickets to The Last Jedi, if you are interested?” Ben smiled at Rey, his eyes filled with hope.

“Are you asking me on a date?” Rey asked, excitedly.  
  
“I am.”  
  
“Then I accept!”  
  
Rey thought she heard Rose sigh. She caught Poe nudging Finn in the ribs.

“Can I take a picture for my Insta?” Finn asked.  
  
Ben and Rey turned towards Finn. Ben wrapped his arms around her shoulder, and she leaned into him.  
  
“Excellent.” Finn added it to the story, adding the hashtag  #ReysFirstCostcoDeal with heart emojis.  
  
“Do you guys want to come over for a beer after we are done shopping?” Ben asked the group.  
  
“Sure thing!” Rey said, as everyone nodded their heads in affirmation. “But can we get a hot dog and coke first?”


	2. Epilogue 1: The Love Awakens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The samples just got a whole lot more sparkly!
> 
> See also: What Kylo Ren should have said to Rey at the end of TLJ.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is brought to you by the enablers of House Plaidam (& a few other riff-raff who visit). I asked what kind of epilogue they wanted and gave them two options. They voted on both. Bloody hell.
> 
> So here’s the first of two epilogues.

“Can we get a box taquitos?”

“Is it on the list?”

“Well...no. But it’s on sale for $4.00 off!”

“Is. It. On. The. List?”

“Pfft. You and your need for order. We’re getting it anyways,” harrumphed Rey as she tossed the box deliberately into the cart.

“I wouldn’t need order if you didn’t rebel down every single aisle, like some modern day member of a resistance,” Ben replied sardonically, issuing Rey a pointed look. “The list exists for a reason.”

“Pah. You must embrace the Costco way,” Rey replied while tossing a bag of mozza sticks into the cart.

“That’s not on the list,” sighed Ben in a resigned voice.

“Come to the light that is no-list shopping!”

"Never! I will never forsake my grocery lists. And you shall join me! Come to the dark side, Rey!”

Rey stuck her tongue out at him. “I see our future. I is solid and clear. When the time comes, you will stand with me, list free!”

Ben smiled, until he turned the corner, entering the junk food aisle. His face dropped as Rey broke out into a grin, her face lighting up in delight.

_“Can we get….”_

* * *

Ben watched as Rey bounced down the aisle towards the chocolate covered fruit containers.

He never tired of seeing her bounce with joy when they were at Costco. Her entire face would light up; hazel eyes would twinkle with joy, and her freckled nose would scrunch in a way that was completely adorable.

It was only a week after they met when they became official boyfriend and girlfriend. Two months later, she moved in with him.

She confided to him about all the times she went hungry at the orphanage she was raised in; foster care wasn’t any better. Ben vowed she would never want for anything ever again; that she would always be safe with him.

He confided to her how lonely he was because he didn’t make friends easily — he had a tendency to push people away. That he struggled with anger issues, a source of strife in his family, who themselves spent a lifetime dealing with the fallout of shady business dealings his anger prone grandfather dealt with as he built his company, First Empire Order LLC.

Any other girl would have left, but Rey was patient and good at fixing things. She helped him work through his emotions without judgement. She supported his decision to leave the family firm and become a professor and writer. She was unwavering in her love, and he in turn learned healthier ways to cope and express himself. _Except when it comes to sticking to the grocery list._

His family absolutely _adored_ Rey. Mom finally had another female at the dinner table, an ally who could hold her own in an argument against the bullheaded men from Clan Solo and Clan Skywalker. Dad finally had someone who liked to talk about cars and knew their way under a hood. And best of all, Rey was a buffer between Luke and himself, preventing arguments by distracting Luke with talk about religious theory and whatever other hippie bullshit Luke liked to spout on about.

They made shopping trips a bi-weekly event. It was _their_ place so-to-speak. Sometimes they were joined by the Scooby Gang: Poe, Finn, and Rose.

They stopped fighting over samples and instead, each took turns going up to the booth so they could have double samples. _Teamwork is dreamwork,_  Rey would say.

The last twelve months were the best he has ever experienced, and it was all because she was a part of his life. Ben couldn’t imagine his life Rey, and he was ready to make their relationship official.

Ben glanced as his phone as it vibrated. He quickly read the text from Poe. Everything was ready to go. _Perfect._

He looked up to see Rey sprinting towards him, her arms overflowing with snacks.

“Is it on the list?”

“Nope!” She replied mischievously with a wink before dumping the contents in the cart.

* * *

 “I think we have everything we need,” Rey said, glancing just to make sure.

“No. I think we are missing something from the bakery,” Ben replied, smiling at Rey.

“Is it on the list?” Rey shot him a look with a smirk on her face.

“No, smart ass. I just have a craving for something sweet and I saw someone walking with a cupcake sample.”

“Hold up! A _full_ cupcake?” Rey spun around rapidly, dashing towards the bakery. “Hurry up Solo. Seniors walk faster than you.”

Ben grinned as he watched her pert behind.

 

* * *

 

“Maz! How wonderful to see you! Looks like you got the best sample station today,” Rey addressed their favourite server.

“Hello dear!” Maz peered up through her thick glasses. “Where is your boyfriend?”

“He’s behind me somewhere, dawdling like a donkey. You know how I love sweet baked goods.”

“Yes I do. I have the perfect one put aside, just in case I saw you today. It was calling your name!” Maz replied, before bending to peak around Rey.

“BEN SOLO!” Maz yelled so loud that the customers in the produce section turned their heads to see the commotion.

“Hey Maz!”Ben waved sheepishly.

As he approached, Rey noticed that he was trembling a bit, his hands visibly shaking.

“Hey, are you feeling okay?” Rey’s hand reached out to his plaid sleeve to grasp his arm, worrying he that he was sick. "Did you eat an undercooked chicken nugget?"

Ben gently removed her hand from his sleeve before kneeling before her. He reached behind her to receive Rey’s _special_ cupcake from Maz.

He held it up to Rey, and nestled in the frosting was a sparkling oval-shaped diamond ring nestled on a platinum band.

Rey gasped, looking to Ben, tears rapidly rising to the surface and threading to spill over.

“Sweetheart, I love you. There isn’t a day that goes by where I am not grateful that whatever force is out there connected us. My life was lonely until you entered my life, and you have brought me nothing but joy. You are my everything, and I want to give you all those things you never got to experience: security, family, and most importantly, love. I want to leave the past behind and stand by your side going forward. Please make me the happiest man alive. Will you marry me?”

He reached his trembling hand out to her, staring into her eyes, his lower lip trembling, the nervous tic in his cheek quivering.

“Yes! Yes I will! I love you! I love you!” Rey told him in between kisses she peppered all over his face.

Tears spilled from her eyes as he pulled the ring out of he cupcake. Maz discreetly handed him a wet wipe, taking the cupcake from him.

Ben slipped the ring onto her left ring finger. Rey examined the sparkling diamond for only a brief second before reaching for him, pulling him upwards.

Ben grabbed Rey in an embrace, lifting her up and spinning her around, before lowering her into a deep kiss.

Applause broke out around them, as other customers took in the spectacle.

Ben smiled before dragging her into another kiss, ignoring the customers that gathered around them.

* * *

“Smile!”

Rey startled as she looked over his shoulder. Finn was standing next to a smiling Poe and an openly sobbing Rose.

“This is going to be the best Instagram picture ever!” Finn tagged the picture #BestSampleEver and adding a diamond emoji.

“Let’s go celebrate with a hot dog combo! My treat!” Ben exclaimed.

“Is it on the list?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned for another epilogue! It will make you barf from cuteness. 
> 
> The "is it in the budget" line is inspired by my real life. I'm a Costco free-spirit. My husband is not.


	3. Final Epilogue: The Sample Menace Strikes Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben & Rey shop with their toddler.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At last, the conclusion of this sweet little crack-fic that started off as a wee little joke. I hope you all enjoyed it, and thank you for letting me use this story to become more comfortable as a writer. 
> 
> (P.S. Please check out my current WIP, To Be With You, a multi-character College Football AU fic that spans two generations.)

“TAWKEETS!” screeched the pint-sized toddler in her outside voice, as her pudgy legs sped towards the sample stand at the speed of a gazelle, her dark brown hair bun bouncing.

Behind her, her tired and increasingly frustrated father pursued his little girl down the aisle, his dark hair disheveled from constantly running his hand through his hair in the last 15 minutes.  _I’ll be fine,_ he told his wife, who needed to get her prescription prenatal vitamins filled at the pharmacy. _How much trouble can one toddler get into in such a short time?_

“Hannah! Stop!” Ben scolded his he scooped her into his arms.

“TAWKEETS DADDA!” she screeched, her face crumbling into angry tears and her little body stiffening in protest before she started kicking Ben. “TAWKEETS!”

“Hannah...baby girl..be good for daddy. Please?” Ben pleaded, trying to calm his little terror down. “They aren’t even taquitos.”

“TAWKEETS!” Hannah wailed at the top of her lungs, her limbs wailing like a helicopter.

Frantically, Ben rushed over to the sampler, reaching into his pocket with one hand to grab his wallet, slamming it down onto the counter, glancing at the name tag of the blonde young man.

“Matt? I will give you all the cash in my wallet if you can make my baby girl a taquito.”

“Sorry sir,” Matt nervously replied, “I can’t do that.”

“Please. I’ll buy the box. You just need to put it in the oven. You can do that, right?” Ben asked, his voice escalating in panic as Hannah was in full meltdown mode.

“I don’t know, but could you please stop yelling at me? You’re stressing me out!” Matt looked down at his sample tray, refusing to make eye contact with the crazed man in front of him.

“Ben! What is going on with _your_ daughter?”

_Shit._

Ben turned slowly, sheepishly glancing down at his pregnant and visibly angry wife. Hannah stopped crying, reaching for her mom.

“Mama! Tawkeets?”

“Yes baby girl. You can have a sample.” Rey reached for a wonton from Matt, giving him an apologetic smile, holding it to Hannah.

“Tankoo mama,” said Hannah, before grabbing the wonton to chew on, smiling.

 _Traitor!_ Ben thought to himself. _So much for being daddy’s girl._

Rey turned to Ben, narrowing her eyes to the sheepish man standing by the cart. “Can you explain to me why I could hear _your_ daughter from across the store? Or why you were bribing the sample server?”

“Why is it always _my_ daughter when she’s having a meltdown?”  
  
Rey raised one eyebrow and gave Ben a pointed look. “You really need to ask?”

“Point taken. But it was _your_ daughter that was freaking out because they didn’t have taquitos,” replied Ben hastily as he retrieved his wallet.

“ _My_ daughter? No way mister. It’s _your_ daughter that has the infamous Skywalker-Solo temper!” Rey shot back.

“No Skywalker or Solo would freak out over lack of taquitos, Rey. That’s all _you_.”

“Ben, Hannah calls _all_ samples taquitos.”

“Oh.”

“Tawkeet yum!” Hannah said with her mouth full, her cheeks puffed from the portion of the wonton she had stored in her mouth like a chipmunk, food bits on her chin.

Ben and Rey looked at her before looking at each other with grins on their faces.

“See, I told you she’s _your_ daughter.” Ben smirked.

* * *

Ben pushed the cart behind his waddling wife & chatty toddler. Rey was making non-committal replies as she scanned the grocery list.

Since the birth of their daughter, Rey began to see the wisdom of the list. Hannah was a surprise baby, the results of perhaps a few too many daiquiris on their Hawaiian honeymoon. For the first two years of Hannah’s life, Ben & Rey had to tighten their budget. Between the mortgage on their new house, and the cost of diapers alone, money had been tight. Ben wasn’t tenured yet, and he refused to tap into his trust fund set up by his grandfather. Rey fully supported his decision; they decided to only use the trust money to help pay for their children’s college or for emergency reasons.  
  
A few months ago, he received word that he was granted tenure status, which came with a substantial increase in pay and financial security. When he came home to celebrate, Rey was standing there was tears in her eyes, a cranky toddler who was teething being held in one arm, and a positive pregnancy stick in her hand. They hadn’t meant to have another so soon after Hannah, but life had other plans. He had enveloped his girls into his protective arms.  
  
There wasn’t one regret he had getting married to Rey or having children so soon. Sure, his cart was filled with boxes of diapers instead of bottles of wine now. But as his wife and daughter turned, each smiling at Ben mischievously with their arms full of cookies they were going to sneak into the cart, his heart melted.  
  
He wouldn’t have it any other way.  


* * *

“BB!” Hannah yelled excitedly, pointing to the stuffed BB-8 on the table full of Star Wars dolls.

“No, not today Hannah.” Her mom said, trying to push the cart past the display. Hannah frowned at her mom, pouting until her father came up with some bags of bread to put in the cart.  
  
Hannah leaned sideways past her mom to peek at her father with well-practiced puppy dog eyes. “BB dadda?” she asked innocently, pointing to the BB-8.  
  
“Anything for my baby girl!”

Rey sighed, glancing with a resigned look. “Ben, I just told her no. She’s trying to manipulate you. _Teamwork is dream work_ , remember?”

“Yes honey. But it is adorable. And it’s less than $10.00…and it plays sounds”  
  
“Because we need another toy that plays sound!” Rey said in a resigned voice as Ben handed the stuffie to Hannah.

She looked at the other Star Wars stuffies, before reaching for one that was holding a light saber. “Hey, doesn’t this one look like your uncle Luke?”

Ben shuddered.

* * *

“Hey guys! Fancy meeting you here!” Finn exclaimed, standing next to his fiancée Rose. 

After exchanging hugs, Ben asked, “Where is the rest of the Scooby Gang?”  
  
“Poe and Hux are arguing with with each other at Maz’s antipasto sample station. It was embarrassing so we snuck away,” replied Rose.  
  
“I secretly think Poe and Hux enjoy the battle!” Rey said, thinking about Poe’s ginger-haired boyfriend. He was something of an acquired taste, but Poe seemed to like him

“Rey, is your child speaking binary?” Finn asked, looking at Hannah beep back to the BB-8 when she pressed the button.

“Bee bee boop bee” Hannah said to BB8.

“What do you think they are saying?” Ben asked, tilting his head.  
  
“That’s highly classified. Big secret! Right Hannah?” Rey replied conspiratorially, winking at Hannah.

“Bee boop!” Hannah nodded, winking back with both eyes, and everyone laughed.  
  
“Smile Hannah!” Finn said, holding up his iPhone. Hannah, used to posing, hammed it up with a cute grin.    
  
Finn posted it on Instagram, tagging the picture with  #HannahIsADroidUnit and added an animated BB-8 emoji.  
  
“So meet your for hot dogs later?” Ben asked?  
  
“HOT DOGS!” Hannah yelled with her outside voice.  


* * *

 


End file.
